(Lusting for an) Impact

I haven't been working and writing much these last few days, I've turned all emotional and it is taking me a whole lot of effort to get out of bed and do something.  i feel that I need to stay in bed, thinking, reflecting and read something light when thinking gets too much.

Having good books to get absorbed in is helping a lot...for the past two weeks I've been altering between Jeanette Winterson, Sarah Waters, and one of my favourite authors, J.G. Ballard.  Minutes ago I received "Oranges are not the only Fruit" by post, I bet that's a guarantee for a good read tonight.

Back in my studio I left my working area filled up with these 80 by 60cms cardboard showing cars which were involved in a crash.  It's the idea of the impact between metal and metal, or metal and concrete that I'm after, the few seconds before the car drives into a concrete pillar and everything changes.

I'm working with a very slow pace, layering paint, plaster, drawing and collage to achieve the desired effect.  The grey dull background of the cardboard creates this ambient where everything was left behind and it's all about now, the impact that would change the aesthetical properties of the car, and the physical and emotional ones of those involved in the accident.

Linking all this to my mental state at the moment, I guess I'm so fascinated by the idea of an impact since I have't met or did someone really stimulating since I came back from Berlin.  Maybe with summer approaching and people would finish their exams and school and all that, maybe things change.  And as I always say, you can't be up there if you 're never been down, just like you can never know where the centre is if you never been close enough to the edge.